so i havent been blogging because there was a contest that i entered where i had to make a post of a big transformation in my life. so i kept it as my most recent until now. why? because once again i lost.

fuck...i never win anything. just my luck right?

anyways...tonight im going to kick it with panini and his friends. theyre having a party that is themed "rave"...so it should definitely be fun. panini doesnt want me to do any drugs....so im going to get fucking wasted.

i deserve it.

theres finally ac in the house and it feels bomb. and now....im going to eat cereal.

life is wack as of now.

me and panini got in a HUGE fight last night...and it ended with me crying and him ending everything. were okay now...but its not the same...im pretty terrified of being myself around him now because im afraid ill do something to offend him. shit....i wish i could read minds!

its official...im getting sued. the day before thanksgiving of last year...i was in an accident. basically...a big rig clipped me, i spun out (due to the road being wet), and i another car. i went from the fast lane and ended up halfway into an exit...FACING traffic. and now...the guy in the big rig is suing me. my insurance said they cant send me anyone on the day of the hearing...so im by myself. she also said that by the looks of it....im going to lose the battle.

this heat wave is HORRIBLE! and the fact that theres no ac because mum said no...is wack. it gets to be like 102 degrees!

bleh. this sucks.

because 20min ago..it WAS yesterday!

so today started off SUPER shitty. my first day home and i hated it! why you ask? well the answer is quite simple...

because it was SO fucking hot! it was ridiculous! it got to the point where i was lying on my bed and my back was damp and if i were to bend my legs and keep it like that for two minutes...sweat would be dripping down my leg.

i just dont understand why we cant just turn on the ac. i wish i was back in la!

so today...it was super hot...so i slept until 5pm. and then i called up panini because i wanted to see if he was on his way home since i was supposed to kick it with him after his baseball game. but then i realized my mum took my car!

i was INFURIATED! why take my fucking car when she has hers? i blew up her phone...i called her at LEAST 30 something times (and im NOT exaggerating!) and she still wouldnt pick up. i texted panini telling him how i was really pissed because i wanted to get out of the heat and be in his arms and couldnt because my car was gone.

as usual...panini didnt really help much to make me feel better. just the usual...im sorry to hear that. tee-hee....bleh....i understand he doesnt pity/feel sorry for anyone...but sheesh...show a little compassion!

anyways...she ended up coming home by 730pm and as soon as she was inside the house...i left without turning back.

so i get to paninis house and i see him walking out while i park and i was pretty scared because he was always talking about he got darker...so i imagined him to be REALLY dark to the point where id mistaken him for a black person (no offense) since hes mexican. but he walks out and i get out and hes STILL the extremely cute panini that ive missed for a WHOLE week! we meet half way and we embrace and kiss...

it was AMAZING! man how i missed being/seeing that fool!

so he gets inside my car and we sit there until 11pm just talking about random shit.

i loved it.
i enjoyed it.

and for the first time in a long time (okay...a week) i realized how much i adored him and want to be with him! and today....today is our EIGHT MONTHS of "knowing each other" since technically were NOT going out.

at first i thought we werent going to do anything since its on a monday and he has school today...but when i was talking to him about it...he said he at LEAST wanted to go to dinner. at LEAST! you dont know how happy it made me to hear him say that he wanted to at LEAST go to dinner because school is more important than an anniversary you know? especially if its an anniversary for someone thats NOT your girlfriend.

so im stoked :)

so today nothing great happened. i didnt sleep until 6 in the morning...woke up at 9 in the morning. went from a cousins house to another and chilled there by myself until 9pm.

and now...im back home in riverside...where its VERY hot and VERY boring. but the good thing is...im closer to my friends, panini, and i can drive!

the only great thing that happened today was on the way home there were fireworks everywhere. it was pretty cool. we even got to be REALLY close to some of them as well. and it made me realize....fireworks are dope as fuck! and i wanna see em while i roll one of these days! :)

besides that...nothing great happened. so...goodnight reader and happy independence day!

so its a beginning of a new month and its starting off average. no big bang or anything like that.

last night i went to a club up in long beach and it was dope. it was like a small rave and it was dope. i saw some friends that i havent seen in CENTURIES! so talking and catching up with them was grand. i was pretty high too. and like it was crazy too because while we were waiting to get in line...a fight had broke out and then when we were chilling outside...ANOTHER fight broke out.

the whole time i was just thinking: fuck...i wont be surprised if i get shot before i leave this place.

yes...i know....i have quite the imagination. but thats what makes me me i guess :)

today im not doing anything. apparently my cousins are going to a bar and since im not 21 yet....i cant go :(. so im going to be here all by myself...not doing anything. panini is gonna be at some huge party getting drunk and making memories while i sit at my cousins house reevaluating my life.

naw...i kid. i doubt ill think about my life...thats too depressing! haha.

lets see whats on my mind right now....oh i know! theres these two books im DESTINED to get...when i get the cash of course. they are:

doomed queens: from cleopatra to princess di
bejing doll

the second book "bejing doll" has been on that wish list for quite sometime. its a hard book to get a hold of...ive been searching for 7 years now and still no luck. its kinda like "go ask alice" but the author is still alive. it was banned in china because of the naughty talks about sex, drugs, alcohol, etc.

im also looking forward to the harry potter movie that comes out on the 15th! ohh-laa-laa...thats gonna be grand.

well besides that...i have nothing to write about. but fuck yo...i bet this blog of my life is pretty wack huh? my bad.